I DON’T NORMALLY POST PICS OF THE ???? LIL ONES BUT …
Now. I am not one for putting children on social media. For my entire life I have had magically profound relationships with young people and yet this is something that is virtually absent from my online persona.
I never felt comfortable putting children online. Then I gave birth to my son. ???????? The most preciously miraculous bundle of Black Boy Joy ???????? that I have ever seen and I questioned my own (made up) policy on children and social media. Why?
My son was born with Trisomy 21. Also known as Down Syndrome and T21. His early life was a very dualistic experience. His arrival on earth consisted of a long, painful and profoundly magical birth on the night of a solar eclipse. ???? One of the greatest moments of my life. After many hours then a few pushes, out he popped into the birthing pool. ???? He floated to the top and nested in my breast. I was perfectly wiped out.
In the following hours everything changed. “We think your baby might have Down Syndrome”. I had no idea what that meant. None. A so-called expert came and told me that ‘it’s like he wont grow up!’ After that I switched off. I thought that if the best they could do is tell me that I gave birth to Peter Pan then they can ????French Connection Off!!.
I looked at my child ???????? and spoke to God who activated the warrior Goddess in me that told me to simply be with my amazing son. ☀️ And that’s all I could see. I was soooo proud and yet I felt that I couldn’t express that because I kept being told that something was wrong. But it wasn’t. He was perfect. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In that moment I felt alone. I felt like nobody knew what I knew. I felt judged as people asked me rude questions like “why didn’t you take a test?” and “you left it too late”. Being a new mum I didn’t always have the energy to defend myself. And my son’s existence. And so I concentrated on nurturing us. My family. Our unit and our relationship with God.
I knew that my family had been chosen by this amazing soul and it was is an honour to be his mum.
I didn’t know anything else. When he would walk, talk, count or win a noble prize? I couldn’t answer those questions. I didn’t have a quick witted response when someone looked at my me and my prince with pity. I simply wanted to punch them. So part of me hid.
They say never say never❗️I said that I would never put my children on social media! And now I was questioning whether I was hiding my son’s difference?
The reason why this felt like such a big thing is because after I gave birth ????social media gave me life. I went online and saw lots of beautiful children with T21. Those images and stories educated me and gave me great comfort. And yet I didn’t see me and my son. I didn’t see many melanated families.
I knew that this made it important for us to share our story but I didn’t do it. It felt too raw and vulnerable and I was scared of being judged!!!
And here’s a picture of my fabulous son. Just because ????