To Think if it Hadn’t Been for my Arrogance…
To think if it hadn’t been for my arrogance, my ignorance would have nipped this in the bud…literally
Arrogance in all its glory because, this ‘type of thing’ only ever happens to other people, not to me. Because, after all, I already have a sister with a learning disability, so I think I’m done in that area. Therefore, no need to take any test.
Ignorance because…where do I start? Just picture your brain being drip-fed from as long as you can remember, through invisible, multiple tubes, with ugly, negative, outdated yet professional, discriminatory information about DS, from family members, health professionals, media, society, in turn subliminally or blatantly, resulting in a terrible Dorian-Gray-like painting depicting everything and anything that could possibly go wrong with DS, all of it stemming from lack of updated representation, lack of exposure, lack of awareness.
The truth is as chilling as it is straightforward: If I hadn’t been arrogant and had had the test done, the result would have come back positive for Down Syndrome. And the surprisingly thick file about DS in my brain would have suddenly unlocked and shot up to the surface and a deluge of one-sided info would have assailed the pregnant version of myself. I might have been scared, disgusted even. Ultimately, my husband would have aligned with my train of thoughts. I’m pretty sure with our particular set of circumstances not only would everyone have approved our decision, but no one would have second-guessed us. Because blaming circumstances is always a better rationale than to admit you really do not want a baby like THAT! I mean, I guess we’ll never know for sure what we would have done but I bet it doesn’t bear lingering on.
In the meantime, I will remain forever thankful for the arrogance that provides me with a daily dose of magic…
View Denise’s blog here – Surfing the Human Mind
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