A Grieving Mother Pens an Open Letter to Parents Expecting a Child with Down Syndrome

 In Down Syndrome Community Voices, The DS Advocate

Trigger warning ⚠️

A grieving Mother pens an open letter to parents expecting a child with Down Syndrome, after her baby girl was born sleeping.

“Parents who are expecting their little one to be born with Down syndrome, please don’t be scared.

When we were given the diagnosis via the NIPT, we were relieved that it wasn’t something truly scary. We denied the amnio because of risks, because it wouldn’t change anything for us. We loved our baby girl from day one and will love her for eternity.

Although we had a mostly very positive outlook on everything, I’d be lying if I said I never had thoughts of fear and doubt creep up on me every now and then. Fear for what her future would be like, how severe her case would be, fear of how to keep her safe from getting sick, especially with covid, before her surgery….doubt of if I would be a good enough mom for a special needs child.

But PLEASE don’t be afraid. Please give your baby the chance of life. I know you won’t regret it.

Unfortunately our baby girl was born our sleeping beauty yesterday at 12:44am.

She had other complications, but even still, this was a surprise than not even any of our doctors expected.

I just didn’t expect it to happen.

I’m not here to scare anyone, that is not my intent. I just want anyone who is already scared to not be.

I think our situation is rare among our special babies, but I’ll tell you what is not rare with them. The love we have for them is not rare, even if it’s not immediate.

I know from reading so many others stories that their love for their babies grows and grows each day.

What’s not rare is the love these babies give to everyone who cares for them. That love between these special babies and the people who love them is greater than you can imagine right now.

I’m so completely broken by our loss that I just want you all who are scared and doubting yourselves to know that you are so incredibly blessed. I know it may not feel like it right now for some of you, but you are. You were chosen to be your child’s parent for a reason. Never doubt yourselves.

And on the day that you get to meet your beautiful babies, please love them extra for me. Know that you are not alone and that you will have more love than you’ve ever known what to do with, both for and from your babies.

And if anyone ever finds themselves in my shoes, which I pray is never, know that I am here for you, even if I don’t know you.”


MCC Team want to say thank you and send our condolences at this extremely difficult and sad time. So sorry for your loss. Fly high little beautiful angel. ❤️

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